- The call was such a shock, news I couldn't comprehend.
- With the drive I knew I couldn't get to you before your life came to an end.
- I knew the news before I got to you but I still didn't believe it.
- The car seems to be going slow motion, all I could do was cry and sit.
- To see it with my own eyes was a knife straight to my chest.
- In my most demented dreams I could have never fathomed in my twenties is when I would lay my Mom to rest.
- But there you were just laying, lifeless in that ER.
- Tubes coming out of you, swollen, clotheless and in that moment I wanted to be where you are.
- I just kept thinking I can't do this, what the hell am I supposed to do?
- Because in sadness I need your comfort and now my saddness is for you.
- What about Dad, what about your daughters, and all your grandchildren too?
- Serioulsy, how are we supposed to do this, how do we carry on without you?
- This pain is something that can't be described, literally nothing I've ever felt.
- I feel lost, I feel so helpless; someone mentions you and I melt.
- My only regret is that on that day I didn't say goodbye.
- So consumed with what I was feeling that it was tears of anger I cried.
- But I do not have to question love, you knew that I loved you, even if you didn't hear it this day.
- Because I never went without telling you whether on the phone or face to face.
- I'm hoping one day, some day I can think of you and smile.
- I know that it's not now though- it will take a little while.
- There are so many things I want to tel you still, so many things that you will miss.
- How I'll never feel your hug again and how my shoulder you would kiss.
- Most of all I want to thank you for loving me so much.
- You were the definition of Mom in everything you did, said, and touched.
- You gave me life, you are my momma, I see you looking at my own face.
- And my heart will be forever broken because you can never be replaced.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
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