Mom-

Nate is completely breaking my heart because being two he doesn't understand what's happened to you. He knows that he can't see Mimi but doesn't understand why he can't. He's been talking about Ethan all week and so this morning on my way to drop him off I told him that he gets to see Ethy tomorrow. He got very excited and I was telling him everyone else we were going to see. I told him that he gets to see Papaw tomorrow and he said "oh yay Papaw and Mimi, Mimi hold me!" I told him that Mimi can't hold him and that Mimi won't be there when we go visit anymore, just Papaw. He got so upset (probably because I was crying upset), he was crying saying "No I want Mimi hold me." Then he asked "Momma why Mimi sleepy? When her wake up?"

I don't know what to say to him and I'm angry that I have to try to. I'm so angry that I see my little boy's heart break because he doesn't understand why he can't have his Mimi. Sure he loves his Papaw but Ethan is Papaw's sidekick and Nate was always a Mimi's boy. I remember how tickled you would get each time you saw him because Dad would say "come to Papaw" and he'd run straight to you. I don't want to not talk about you because I don't want Nate to forget you but it's too hard for me when he asks this stuff. See this is the kind of thing I still need you for, you were my go to when I had Mom questions.

I miss you so much! Give Grandpa a big hug from me. I love you both.