(For Mom)

I never once took you for granted and you know exactly how I felt about you, I think you were (and still are) amazing. But the saying "you don't know what you've got till it's gone" still applies here. I guess I took for granted that I had you and foolishly thought it would be a long time until I lost you. Now that you're not here I am constantly noticing these holes that were once filled by you and that's what's tough. The simple day to day things like wanting to call you because Nate said something funny, calling to tell you about a neat craft idea I found online, telling you about a new recipe I tried, or calling just to see how your day was.

I just think if it's this hard for me missing you in my daily life then I can't even imagine how painful it is for Dad. For 33 years you were his girl, his one and only, the mother of his children. And to in a single evening have to lose you and come home to an empty house, empty bed, and empty life without you has got to be ten times more painful than what I am feeling. There is no way to compare the two grief situations, we can only be there for Dad but we can't relate to what he's feeling. Being married myself I love Greg in a completely different way. Us girls are mourning the loss of our mother, the most important woman in our lives, our friend, and our role model. Dad is grieving the loss of his partner and I'm so incredibly sad that he has to feel this pain.

Damn it Mom! Why you? Why us? Why now? Why when your grandchildren are too young to remember you and how much you loved them? Fifty-one years isn't a short life by any means but it wasn't long enough for us! Now I have (probably) fifty some years left to live my life without you.